Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm not completely M.I.A.

Hi Everyone,

As the busy summer days approach, I'm afraid my capacity for coherent word formation may lessen. You may wonder when it ever was large. You can be so rude like that.

Rest assured, though, I will do my best to return every now and then to provide profound thoughts on the following subjects:

1) Why do mortgage companies insist on sucking? It would have been nice to know that we had a lock and float interest rate option on a 90 day lock down agreement about 30days ago, you great big punks.

2) Is anyone as emotioanlly disturbed by the Bethenny Frankel vs. Jill Zarin situation as I am? And why can't women let other women be in love and get married without pursuing full-on character defamation of said "woman in love and getting married"?

3)Do you think it's annoying when women, who have lush, thick, gorgeous hair, complain that it takes them too long to dry it? These vexatious women can be likened to the lithe, skinny women, who complain that they often forget to eat. What planet are you living on and how can I get there?

And finally, 4) If one more parent (and I'm talking to you, Moms) comes into my office with their eighteen-year-old and mute (whether by pressure, disinterest, or sheer terror)child, claims that they would like to be advised on a particular degree plan, snatches the piece of paper detailing the aformentioned degree plan from my hands, and proceeds to dictate to their child exactly which courses that child will be taking the following semester...I will...most likely do nothing, as I prefer to keep my job. But be aware that silently, in my mind, I am requesting that you either shut your yap and let your kid talk about his or her actual interests or promptly exit my the most gentile manner possible, of course.

Bis Bald,

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