...But they're addictive like crack

I know I said I’d wait until Friday to reveal my new ink, but I just can’t!

I’ll have to repost pictures once it has healed more; the design is not well complimented by constant seepage. It looks kind of goopy. But I love it and can’t wait to see it all healed up!

Derek at Poking You was amazing! I love how he made the buds more of a watercolor, and he did a great job creating the art deco jewel in the center. The pearls and crystals in it look pinker than they will. In fact, he didn’t use any pink in there at all so it will fade out. And he sketched up the pearls at the last minute to create more depth. I think the pearls were essential to create a more finished look. They will look whiter in the future as well, although he did use slightly pink shading to give them more of a reflective appearance.

I love that the design collaboration resulted in a whimsical piece that appears to be a cross between an art deco bracelet and an authentic flower.

Rachel and I agree, no name tattoos. Ever. Never Ever. But getting a tat symbolic of your loved one is a great way to honor him/her. When B proposed, he placed dark reddish purple peonies on the table surrounding the ring. Peonies are also attributed as the “thornless rose”. Hence, my very own, personally symbolic tattoo in honor of my husband.

Luuuuuurrrrrvvvveeeee it!

It's not just for crack addicts...

Yeah, Wednesday! You’re here! I’m so happy to see you! Now could you get on with it and hurry up to 5pm? I will suffer fidgetiness and a butterfly-filled stomach until then.


Today after 5pm is particularly enthralling to me not simply because the workday is done (although that’s reason enough for rejoicing), but because I get to engage in applied research for my next Maroon Weekly article. Now and then my editor supplies specific “Fashion Sense” assignments that are relevant to the subject matter of the week’s edition. Often, though, he leaves the ball in my court, and I have wholly enjoyed discovering fashion topics that are relevant to the community.

With such a conservative community stocked largely with 18 to 21-year-olds, I’ve remained relatively mild in my topic choices while still encouraging fashion forward endeavors. Stagnation would be imminent, though, if I remained fearful of being too “out there”…as it were. Circumvention of burgeoning hot topics in the fashion world for fear of not relating to the reader will not lead to a successful fashion column.

Therefore, my edgy topic quest begins with a subject that is growing dearer and dearer to my heart. Tattoos.

For many this proves not to be the most salacious topic, but a sufficient amount of people still equate ink with crack addicts, booze, and bikes (the motorized kind). I, on the other hand, have grown to love the artistry that occurs in tattooing, and I believe its mark on the fashion world is indelible. I could elaborate, but I don’t want to reveal too much of my thought process on this before the article actually hits stands. Although, I do believe I am going to take some time in my blog to promote a new concept (for some) about tattoos. I’m thinking “Tuesday Tattoo” or something of the sort….alliteration is my friend. You don’t have to want to get a tattoo to appreciate the artistry (I’m not talking about zombie tattoos here, people. I too have my tat limits). And if you remain unconvinced, well….thanks for reading, anyhow :-)

I will be embarking on my third tattoo tonight at 7pm! My friend Sky has a gorgeous tattoo as provided by Derek at Poking You so I have secured some of his time for myself. I believe I’ll reveal my new ink on Friday along with potentially shorter bangs for my Fashion Forum Friday post. You can tell me what you think then!

Until then I'll leave you with this example of one of my favorite types of ink designs.

While it's not mine, I kinda, sorta wish it were...

Bang Bang! (My Baby Shot Me Down)

With my attention no longer commanded by Fashion Week BCS, I’m almost at a loss for what to write about. I feel like I left my modest blog for glamorous, popular, more experienced blog. Then, as these scenarios tend to play out, the enchanting blog proved to be predictably self-absorbed and flighty and left me in the dust for a bigger, better opportunity. Humbled, I’m now begging my neglected blog to take me back, and we all know it will out of clemency and genuine love for me. But now we’re in that awkward phase where the blog is all, “Look, I have to take this slow because I can’t risk my heart being broken again.” It’s awkward, but we’re working through it.


Fashion Week was fun, and I really enjoyed providing personal accounts of my experiences at each event, but a return to normalcy is also well appreciated.

Which leads to today’s topic: my hair has been severely neglected right along with my blog. My appointment with Marci Cutler over at Cutler² Salon & Spa, http://www.cutler2salon.com/, (go there if you like awesomeness reflected in your hair) had to be pushed back due to Fashion Week, and my sister’s wedding is coming up…so…I need to go, like, yesterday.

I need your help, though! I’m thinking about making a slight alteration to my haircut, and while I say slight, we all know how “slight” changes can change everything…for better or worse.

In my amateurish opinion, hair makes up 50% of one’s fashion statement. It needn’t be wild or avant-garde, or cutting edge. It just needs to work for you, and every individual is different. Unkempt hair, in a poorly unkempt state...not the cool, bedhead, unkempt state...will distract immensely from any other stylistically sound decisions you make.

Spending lots of time and energy on my hair exhausts me. Consequently, I’m a huge fan of pinning it up and heading out. I’ve met simply aggravating individuals who can wash their hair the night before, get up, brush it out, and tah dah…beautiful! Ugh! You guys annoy me to no end. Or maybe you are one, who enjoys spending time straightening it out or curling it up. Whatever works for you. Fussy or not fussy. Hair does matter, though. Don’t neglect it entirely…as demonstrated by myself…

HELP ME!: Before my imminent appointment arrives this Thursday, I need your help in making a decision. I kind of want to add some fringed baby bangs tapered into where my hair parts on my forehead…so not straight across. I’m never happy when I cut bangs straight across my forehead. But I like the idea of having just a few cut into my part. I’d like to think that it would look like an edgy, ever so slightly punky Holly Golightly form Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Here’s the best representative pic I could find.

But that’s still not it because her baby bangs are tapered into shorter side bangs, and I want my side bangs to be much longer. Therefore, I’ve rendered this amazing mock-up!



Don't base your answer on this ridiculous rendering.


Yeah…It’s still kind of hard to see, but in my mind, it looks awesome! Just subtle, shattered baby bangs tapered into long bangs.

My roots are currently 57 inches long, but I am confident in my color change decision. I’ll post pics once everything’s complete so you can witness the results.

In the mean time, though, tell me what you think in regards to my potential bang alteration!

Aufwiedersehen, Fashion Week BCS Day #6

Also posted at http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog

Can it be true? Has Fashion Week BCS truly come to an end? Comparatively my schedule seems abnormally peaceful this week, and I can’t say that I regret having more time allotted to…I don’t know…SLEEP! Although, sleep deprivation was but a small fee owed for the enjoyment of witnessing B/CS designers and artists spring to life. More impressive was the community’s support of these artists; crowds flocked to every event in downtown Bryan as well as College Station.


The final event at Daisy Dukes proved to be the perfect follow up to Inspirations’ runway show as well as an appropriate celebratory conclusion to Fashion Week BCS as a whole. With a cat walk spanning the entire dance floor, our persevering models braved its length to exhibit clothing from designers such as Orbit Reform, Keal, Kellie Smith, Clutch Campus, and several more.

I had my own personal fashion moment when I saw that one of the models was showing off a Kellie Smith Material dress that consisted of the same fabric and print as I had chosen to wear that evening. Joyous fate!

While every designer present that evening deserves praise and adoration, I will narrow in on one designer for the mere sake of brevity. I do want you to read this without having to take a nap in the middle. Kirsten Hall’s Keal collection is definitely one of my top picks. Her designs ranged from menswear built for women to sweet, frilly concoctions. Everything was very well edited and well constructed. She succeeded in building a cohesive collection while still remaining freshly diverse. The juxtaposition of a straight, clean, mod black shift and a salmon pink cocktail dress gathered at the waist and topped with elbow length bell sleeves in black lace was brilliant. Ms. Hall, if you ever need to find a safe home for that salmon-pink, black lace cocktail dress, I would happily adopt it.

As I said before, though, I laud every designer, who presented Saturday evening, as well as every designer and artist that was involved throughout the entire week. I am very proud to say that B/CS is bursting with creative, artistic energy, and I loved setting aside a week’s time to celebrate it!

To all of the models, who volunteered their time: Bravo! You were all lovely. To the designers and artists, who submitted their blood, sweat, and tears for our viewing pleasure: Double Bravo! Lastly, to everyone involved in the production of Fashion Week B/CS: Infinite Bravos! Thank you to everyone who made Fashion Week BCS possible. It was fabulous. So…who’s up for Fashion Week BCS 2011?

Fashion Week Day #5 & Fashion Forum Friday!



Go to http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog for today's entry regarding Fashion Week BCS.

I'm looking forward to wearing my Fashion Week BCS t-shirt! The main reason being, it's an American Apparel v-neck! No Beefy Hanes for us fashionphiles!!!




I'm gonna wear pants with mine, though.

What are you looking forward to wearing?

                                                      

Fashion Week Day #4

Got to http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog to discover the latest goings on for Fashion Week BCS.

Fashion Week Day #3

Go to http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog for a review about last night's event as well as information regarding where you should be tonight.

Fashion Week Day #2

Check out http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog for Today's Fashion Week BCS info.

Fashion Week BCS Days #1-6

Only for the week, though.

As I’ll be blogging daily for Fashion Week BCS, I think it best that you check up on me there should you yearn for disjointedly ecstatic babbling regarding fashion, art, music, etc.


Other grown-ups are involved, though, so I’ll do my best to remain lucid…for the most part…no guarantees.

You will find my daily entries at http://fashionweekbcs.com/blog. You should read them! Even if you don't live in B/CS, you should know how cool we all are.

Fashionably Imperfect will return to its normally scheduled program next Monday.

Fashion Forum Friday: Audience Participation Day

Whew! Thank goodness that Friday morning is over! The next morning will be Saturday morning, which is my only sacred morning of sleep uninterrupted by an abrasive alarm. My excited anticipation is just barely enough fuel to get me through the remainder of the work day. I can almost feel the supple support of my pillow beneath my head and the fidgeting weight of Bella Bawk Ba Gawk and Tallulah Poodle Minky Boodle curled up on my ankles. It sounds blissful!


I can’t describe the blessed relief Saturday morning brings.

Wait…don’t I have to be somewhere….??? No, certainly not. Wait…I seem to remember making plans. For some foreign reason…I don’t know…I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I almost want to say that my presence is expected in the wee, small hours of the morning. H. This place starts with an “H”, and children…I’m getting visions of children. Strange.

Ellie…Cade…HOUSTON at 7:45am tomorrow morning!!!! DRATS!!!

Last time B and I hung out with Curtis and Rachel, one of them must have slipped an “agree to whatever I ask” serum into my drink. I can think of no other logical excuse.

No, no, no. I kid; I kid! Though driving to Houston at the crack of dawn, i.e. being driven to Houston whilst remaining unconscious, is not one of my favorite things, Ellie and Cade are two of my favorite Lacys. We have ambitious plans for a fun-filled day at the zoo, and I look forward to being sweetly serenaded by Ellie and getting to know little Cade’s personality even better.

Nieces and nephews are great. They think you’re the Cat’s Meow because you don’t have the audacity to discipline them, and in turn, you get to give them back to mom and dad at the end of the day to be appropriately disciplined. Win/win.

Fortunately, my premeditated fashion forum item is perfect zoo attire: A saturated blue, racerback Free People tunic. It’s super cute paired with a white tank and jeans. I like that it promotes the more boho look I’m developing, as the straps are purposefully too long and slouchy, but it’s still fitted enough so I don’t look like I’m wearing a big, blue bag.

And who doesn’t like birds? Actually, quite a few people. I know; I’m always befuddled by these individuals. Ornithophobia. I realize that I’m no “Doctor” per se, and it’s rude to “belittle” other people’s "issues". So I won’t go into detail why I think the fear of birds is not nearly as legit as arachnophobia or people-running-at-you-with-a-knife-phobia or banging-your-toe-on-the-dresser-leg-while-trying-to-find-your-way-back-to-bed-in-the-dark-after-you-got-up-to-go-use-the-bathroom-phobia.

What are y’all wearing this weekend? I need to utilize your thoughts and inspirations as a form of energy to get me out of bed in like 6 hours or whatever profane hour of the morning I’m meant to be a functioning person.

No Time so Say “Hello”. Goodbye. I’m Late. I’m Late. I’m Late.

I’m super busy. I'm sure this is a strange phenomenon with which none of you have yet had to deal. That song always seems to enter my mind whenever my schedule becomes overloaded.

Silly me, I allowed myself to believe that my list of tasks would shrink as the weekend draws near. Nay. The chaos has not abated. I’ve finished up my next fashion article for Maroon Weekly, but I’ve received a request to write a supplementary article for the approaching Fashion Week BCS, which is next week. Yay! No seriously. Yay! I’m looking forward to all of the events. And so should you.

So I’ll be working on that, and I’ve started blogging for Fashion Week…as you may have noticed. You can read more about that at fashionweekbcs.com.

So there’s that.

And then there’s the whole deal where I work full time as an academic advisor, and apparently, every now and then, the good people in charge at Blinn like to ensure that we all know what we’re actually talking about. Debatable and dubious at best. A meeting will book up a good portion of my morning and possibly my afternoon tomorrow.

Therefore, I shall post my Fashion Forum Friday item, as I am quite pleased with the garment, but it might be later in the day. I realize that your Friday bliss most likely depends upon my Fashion Forum so I just didn’t want you to panic if the post does not go up in as timely a manner.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got right now.

Let’s see. Something fashion-related.

Today, I’m wearing a denim dress that is reminiscent of a sheath. While I appreciate the dress’ almost accurate imitation of the sheath, it still reminds me of my body’s inability to pull off a genuine sheath. I’m not being hard on myself. Some body types simply do not lend themselves to any given design regardless of weight.

Sadly, I will never be able to partake in one trend I have greatly enjoyed over the last few seasons. The Hervé Léger bandage dress.

And certainly not in white. But isn't it lovely?

Oh well.

Ummm….Eww.

Yesterday, my friend Theresa called my attention to a novel fashion trend…and I can’t say that I’m superfluously grateful.

Yuck. Upon initial observation, I am strangely compelled to request a pedicure accompanied with bleach and a flame thrower for the poor model stricken with the task of placing her feet in these…hooves. Yes, they are authentic horse hooves. I can’t even wear fur and now you’re proposing hooves!?

I am all for innovation when it comes to fashion design. But Iris Schieferstein has crossed the line from inventive to grossly and unnecessarily outrageous. I hate it when designers believe that shocking us will fool us into believing they’re ingenious and cutting-edge. No. You just produced something stupid. You clearly ran out of designing energy, and you’re not fooling anyone.

I can only assume that the gun currently being utilized as a heel had something to do with the poor animal's demise.

Look, Chanel is allowed to do a gun heel. It’s Chanel, and the design house’s execution was as chic as one could expect a gun heel to be. Leave it alone!

Chanel's less appalling version

                                                                         
Actually, should you be looking to assemble an exceedingly authentic Mr. Tumnus costume for Halloween, I think I have the appropriate footwear for you.

Chanel, My Belle

Besides a $55K diamond necklace by Fred Leighton (a crystal replica would do), I’ve thought of another crucial item I desperately need to polish off my boho chic efforts.

A vintage chain-link quilted Chanel bag. Preferably in a neutral tone, but I’d probably accept one in any color. Magenta. Periwinkle. Army Green. Like, whatever, seriously. I just need one.

Often I find myself attending events where to have a purse in hand or hanging off of one shoulder becomes burdensome. Sometimes, you just need to have both hands free. Unfortunately, going purse free is not an option with which I feel comfortable.

I’ve witnessed this phenomenon as displayed by other women. And not just by the more tom-boyish girls, but by ultra fem, pink-wearing, purse-loving girls as well. Ummm…where are they putting their stuff? How do you walk out the door without a purse, and still manage to transport your wallet, keys, and phone? Not to mention other female accoutrement.

And let’s not pretend as if this issue can be resolved by the solutions of men. This is a strictly female conundrum. Our jeans do not harbor clandestine vacancies in which we can invisibly store the bare necessities. I still do not completely understand how men manage it. B’s brother Curtis has referred to B’s jeans as “tight britches”, and I would have to agree. How he veils the sharp angles of a phone, wallet, and keys withing the recesses of those tight britches eludes me.

However these individuals, be they male or female, manage to accomplish this mysterious task, it shall forever remain for me an insurmountable obstacle. I must have a bag. I can make things fit in a small bag should the situation call for it, but more often than not, you’ll typically observe a bag that appears as if it should weigh 15 lbs. hanging from my shoulder. It’s like a security blanket.

But back to the main point. On those particular days when I do not want to carry my 15lb. bag, I would love to stuff as many items as possible into an authentic, vintage Chanel bag and sling it over my shoulder messenger-style. That would be bliss.

Back From Dollywood

Now that I've rendered myself more relatable to the younger generations by describing my appreciation for Dolly Parton, let's talk more about the future of this blog.

I've decided to change the title, as "Misadventures...." no longer reflects my overall goal. Initially, I meant for the blog to be no more than an arena for cathartic rants about life and my many muck-ups.

Lately, though, my fashion ambitions have proved more attainable than I originally anticipated. I have no plans to keep mum about my daily muck-ups. Those will still happen and I will steel need a catharsis.

Therefore, I have decided to rename the blog "Fashionably Imperfect."

I am an imperfect child of God, but He fashioned me as I am....so...there ya go.

My hope is that the new title will always serve as a reminder that we are all on a level playing field. I want to remain humorous about my imperfections, and likewise, I never want to impose judgment on others.

It is a precarious and ambitious goal to balance opinions with sensitivity, and I am not the say-all, end-all of anything...much less fashion. I just like to talk about it a lot.

So should you disagree with any opinions I submit to you, I invite you to laugh at my fashionable imperfections...and I'll continue to laugh at your Tom's and jeggings ;-)

...unless you're wearing the wedges. We already confirmed that I like Toms wedges.

Please stay tuned for your regularly scheduled program (This one’s about music)

It is my opinion that Monday morning is the worst possible time ever to be conscious.


Over the weekend B and I procured Dolly Parton Unlimited, which is an anthology of some of the best country/folk music ever written. Current ingénues in the country music scene ought to feel ashamed when they consider the genre of music they are presently mutilating. Nickel Creek and Allison Krauss are a dwindling flame in the darkness of “pop country”. The glory days of Randy Travis, Willie Nelson, and Emmylou Harris slowly acquiesce to the likes of Carrie Underwood and Rascal Flatts. It hurts my heart.

Countless times have individuals excitedly asked me if I’ve ever heard the song by Rascal Flatts about the girl named Sara Beth. “It has your name in it!” My response is always a docile, “No, I’ve not heard that.” The response I forgo in an attempt to not be a jerk is, “NO! And I NEVER want to! It’s not even my name, anyways. My name is Sarabeth…not Sara Beth. No biggie, right? NO! It is a biggie. Sara Beth is two words. My name is one word. Never have I ever gone by Sara, and it annoys me more than anything when people ask me my name and I tell them ‘Sarabeth’ and then they say, ‘Hi, Sara.’ But I didn’t say ‘Sara’. I said ‘Sarabeth.’ If I wanted you to call me ‘Sara’, I wouldn’t have spent the energy to complete my response with ‘beth’! And Rascal Flatts is a stupid band!” See, that would be a jerky and alienating retort.

But I digress. So I thought I would attempt to energize myself with an upbeat Dolly song this morning. “9 to 5” seemed like the perfect antidote to my Monday morning lethargy. Dolly and I would commiserate together about “the man” and how he’s putting us down and all.

Then I realized that it was 7:40am. If I worked 9 to 5, wouldn’t I get to leave the house at 8:40am…or perhaps even 8:45am, as morning traffic would have abated by then? Any why would traffic be less hectic an hour later? Because we all work from 8 to 5, Dolly! What dream world are you living in?!?! Oh, right. The world where you have lots of money. Must be nice.

Needless to say, Dolly's tactlessness annoyed me.

Fashion Incorporation:


I would totally wear this necklace fashioned by Danielle Maveal. It is awesome. The End.

 

 

Fashion Forum Friday: Audience Participation Day!

My Friday gameface is on, and I am thrilled that the blessed day has arrived. “This Is The Day” by The The hypnotically emanates from my PC’s speakers pacifying my “must break free from this office” jitters.

But it also makes me long to dance on the rooftop of Empire Records with Ethan Embry and Rory Cochran at dawn circa 1995. Oddly enough, the song also invokes a certain nostalgic desire to wear a short, plaid, and pleated skirt paired with Doc Martens. And then I’m reminded that my legs aren’t half the length of Liv Tyler’s and my reverie is broken.

Switching over to “La Meme Histoire” by Feist, I’m reminded that I do not have in possession my Fashion Forum item of the week. It is an item I would love to have in my possession, but I’m just a tad bit reluctant to admit where said item first caught my eye.

I did, previously, admonish readers to avoid over accessorizing themselves à la Carrie Bradshaw. Still, every now and then, Patricia Field, stylist for the SATC series, hit the mark spot on. My absolute favorite collection of ensembles ever featured on all six seasons premiered on the final two episodes which were set in Paris. Field effortlessly channeled a tribute to Parisien mode without being too literal and ingeniously blended it with an old Hollywood, Roman Holiday-esque look. Impeccably gorgeous and youthful while also remaining age appropriate.

It goes without saying that I could easily covet every article of clothing featured on the two episodes, but one item in particular lingers in the recesses of my mind. I cannot shake the need to acquire a necklace either identical or similar to the one with which Petrovsky gifts Carrie.

So simple and elegant. Ageless. Timeless. Goes with anything and everything. I need to have this.

Imagine my disheartened dismay upon discovering that the original design by Fred Leighton is valued at $55K. Hmmm….so exactly how lucrative could your landscape designs potentially become, B? Or, let me reword that, how lucrative can we make them be?

Alas, I don’t need a $55K Fred Leighton creation. Unless an affluent benefactor takes pity on me. Actually many jewelry designers on Etsy have worked to simulate Leighton’s design, and I’m seriously considering purchasing one for $25.

Regardless, be it the $55,000 piece or the $25 replica, I am seriously jonesing for this necklace as my weekend and every single day that follows item.

So, beloved readers of my inanity, what’s your weekend poison?

And Then Material Presents Itself

Now is the fall/winter of my discontent if I do not procure at least one, if not several, of the following pairs of shoes.


One can obtain a better understanding of my foot-oriented demise if one sings Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine” in one’s head while perusing the objects of my compulsion.

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Woh oh oh
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There ain’t no doctor that can cure my disease

I always welcome the opportunity to imitate an updated Marie Antoinette. Always. No questions asked. Streamlined frilliness is my favorite fashion dichotomy.

Warning: Potentially inappropriate diversion but I simply can't let this one go. (By the by, Spellcheck, why would you ever suggest "dickhead", I kid you not, as an alternative to dichotomy? I simply misplaced the h. That's a quite a large and vulgar leap to make as far as spellcheck assumptions and suggestions go. How do you get "dickhead" from "dicohtomy"? Seriously! That's what Blogger's spellcheck suggested when it pointed out that I had misspelled dichotomy. "We here at Blogger Spellcheck noticed that you may have misspelled a word, as we can't locate it in the dictionary. When you spelled out 'dicohtomy', did you perhaps intend to spell out 'dickhead'? Because that's one of the top entries in our dictionary...dictionary for people with poor and limited diction. Oh, you meant 'dichotomy'!?! Why, we didn't even think of that! We just assumed you meant 'dickhead'. Our bad!")

Slouchy things are some of the best things. Unless you're "slouchy". I would never wish to be personally described as "slouchy"...in any capacity.

Envision these with cropped skinny jeans (not jeggings!) and ask yourself, "Why am I not wearing that or something equally as cool this very moment?!?"

If you hate all of my beloved booties and gather no useful information from this blog entry, take this with you at least. Should you ever take up spellchecking as an occupation, don't assume that one intended to write "dickhead" as opposed to "dichotomy". In fact, I think it's fairly safe to assume the one may be going for a different, less reprobate noun. Seriously, why was that even an option?

I’m so offended; I’m verging on being offensive.

I’ve been silent long enough. When did jeggings become okay? Why are we as a society accepting this? And since when did jeans become so “formal” and “ucomfortable” that we had to resort to jeggings? Are we that lazy and Jerry Springerish?

"Does my hat distract the eye away from my jeggings?"

Because if you weigh more than 54 lbs. and you’re wearing jeggings or any variation of this unsightly trend, you and your unavoidable camel-toe are en route to either Jerry Springer or Montel Williams. There’s no other excuse…and that’s a terrible excuse by the way. Maybe your boyfriend is courting his and/or your cousin because he/she doesn’t wear jeggings. He/She probably does, though, right? Leave the show, go buy yourself a pair of proper jeans, and clean up your life.

If, on the other hand you weigh 55 lbs. or more and are wearing jeggings, you had best be prepubescent. 12-years-old is the final age you can wear them without an obligatory wine spritzer in hand….and a Key Stone in the other.

Have I offended enough people, yet? Have I at least convinced you that jeggings are a bad idea? If you still find yourself pining for suction fit spandex resembling any type of denim, be it acid wash or indigo, wrapped tightly around your nether regions, I have one more argument to make. Put on your…jeggings…it’s getting hard to even type. Go to the nearest mirror. Look at yourself. See!

People! Can we just please wear jeans! PLEASE!!!! For the love of all that’s good in this world?

Observe how nice and shapely this lady's lower half appears in her straight leg jeans.

I'm actually a fan of the cuff. I realize Stacy and Clinton might chastise me, and you may also wish to avoid it, but I like to add little details to every day items. While it's not necessary, adding a large cuff shakes things up a bit. It must be done with a straight leg cut, though, and preferably with heels to add height. Otherwise, you'll just look like a hobit. Although, were I faced with the decision to resemble either Paris Hilton or Frodo....well...Frodo has lovely eyes, a sort of bedhead hairstyle, and no jeggings. I'm going with Frodo.

Check out http://www.maroonweekly.com/ for my second column that went live today!

One Rare Occasion Calls for Another: Public Opinion Poll

Today begins with me in the throes of another infrequent fashion scenario. Although you’ll find no recantation here, you will discover…Indecision!

Rarely do I lack a firm stance on what I believe to be true about fashion decisions, whether they be prudent or avant-garde. I may alter my opinion at any given point, as demonstrated in yesterday’s post; I’ve never been a fan of needless bull-headedness. But I hardly encounter the occasion where I witness a new trend and formulate this as my response: ??????????

Regardless, that’s the best I can produce when I see socks and pumps paired together. Although initiated in the 80s, this odd?/offbeat?/eclectic?/chic?/dorky? combination has more recently been revived by the likes of Ugly Betty. At that point my thoughts were that awkward Betty was attempting to make a fashion statement a la fictitious “Mode”. Said fashion statement was a bit “off” but, in turn, really kind of worked for the character.

But now I’m witnessing the same fashion statement a la genuine “Vogue” and various other bastions of fashion editorials. My hasty reaction was, “NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!”

Currently, though, I find myself torn. I kind of…sorta…like it? I maybe….could possibly…try it?

I’m not sayin’; I’m just sayin’. We’ll see if I ever muster the gumption to attempt this look. The mild Texas winter would certainly allow for it.

In the mean time, you decide. Socks with pumps: Yay or Nay?

Toms Vs. Tom

It’s Monday. And Sunday was an oddly stressful Sunday so this Monday morning is looking bleak. Yes, I mean for that to sound entirely melodramatic. If Tuesday were at all gracious it would give Wednesday and Thursday a miss and go straight to Friday.

To make my Monday all the more dreadful, I have given myself the sobering task of recanting a rigid stance in which I was previously cemented. Now this is a rare occasion so don’t become accustomed to it. Every now and then, though, I find small loopholes in my fashion opinions. I am prepared to admit defeat when I have been bested.

Now I’m not admitting total defeat in this particular instance. I still think that Toms flats are wretched and unflattering. But I am officially revoking my embargo on Toms wedges. I have decided that they offer vintage appeal. And as I’m trying to assemble more boho chic ensembles, they have made an admirable contribution.

I would suggest purchasing a vibrant color, though, as one could easily verge on appearing dowdy in a more neutral tone. I went with yellow, fortuitously. Originally, I wanted the red striped pair. Alas, they were out of my size so I braved the yellow, and I am so pleased that I did.

My sentences are uncharacteristically brief this morning. Why does the screen look blurry? Should my head feel about as light as a bowling ball? Is this at all indicative of my sleeping habits?

I think I’m spent for today. I’ll leave you with this thought, though. While I recant my previous opinion on Toms wedges, I shall never recant my opinion about Tom Cruise. He is a shoddy, predictable actor.

Fashion Forum Friday: Audience Participation Day!

“What do we do when we fall off the horse? …..We get back on!”-Maury Ballstein

“Sorry, Maury, but I’m not a gymnast.”- Derek Zoolander

This was the excerpt of dialogue running through my mind as I prepared to compose today’s entry. Zoolander is a very inspirational film. That’s right; I went there. I said “film”.

Anyhow, let’s see if we can’t recover from yesterday’s blog debacle.

I keep talking and talking and talking about Northgate Vintage, and it remains to be seen how long I can extend the subject. Methinks awhile, as the shop and its patrons have challenged me, unbeknownst to them, to step further out of my fashion comfort zone and into an arena of style I’ve only admired thus far.

For years now, my paramount goal in my own personal styling has been to perpetuate the classicism of old Hollywood bastions such as Audrey Hepburn, Bridget Bardot, and Natalie Wood. How my executions had been, I’m not certain. Still, I have always strived for a more tailored, sophisticated look with these inspirations lingering in my mind.

As of late, I’ve felt a tug in a different direction. By no means do I plan on abandoning my Audrey Hepburn classicism, or at least my love for it, but I am increasingly interested in developing more of a boho chic look. It’s a thin line to walk, though, and one must proceed with caution. In attempting to look like a whimsical yet sophisticated gamine, I could easily envision myself just looking sloppy. Or, as in the literal meaning of the word…like an urchin.

So far I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my venture out into bohemian fashion…or at least my translation of it. I believe it may be crucial, at least for myself, to meld the two styles together. I think them mutually inclusive, Classic and Bohemian. Clahemian? Nope, not appropriate. Scratch that. We’ll stick with Classic Bohemian.

Last night, B. Lacy performed a set at Northgate Vintage’s First Thursday musical gathering. If you reside in our vicinity, you need to come to one of Ranger’s (owner of NGV) First Thursday events. Awesomocity. Be ye warned, though. Thou shant find any other recourse for departure other than to purchase stuff. Not that you’re required to; the event’s free. But you will purchase stuff; that I can promise. The giddy influence of local musicians and complimentary Pabst Blue Ribbon will see to it. And so they did and are responsible for my Fashion Forum item of the week.

I’m loving this with capri leggings and simple wedges. I also like that it doesn't encompass one particular decade. The print is very late 70s or early 80s. The halter cut has been around since Jesus walked the earth.

One key factor can make or break the boho look. Less is more. Choose your statement piece and fortify it with other minimalist items. I could see one piece of statement jewelry complimenting this dress well. Perhaps a bangle.

If you superfluously layer on various stand out pieces, your ensemble has no focus point and attention is diverted in far too many directions. Results: Slapdash Thrifty Nickel or Little Girl Playing Dress Up. Neither of which are desirable. And it’s surprisingly simple to want to do. Watch out!

Carrie Bradshaw may be burned in gen X’s brain as the paragon of daring panache, but let me clue all you Gen Y-ers in on something groundbreaking. Often, the character was over accessorized. Daring and groundbreaking? Yes. Verging on clownishness? Often. The stylist was trying far too hard to be off beat and shocking. I respect the attempts and do like to challenge myself and others, but let’s all remember how easy it is to just look…drunk.

I love layering clothes, and I love layering jewelry. But the same rules apply.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox and want to know what your anticipated weekend wear is. Also, any tips you can give me? I love to hear the thoughts of others.

Bon Weekend!

How To Shoot Your Daily Blog Entry in the Foot

Misread "barnstorming" as "brainstorming" and then write a superfluously opinionated entry about how wearing high heels doesn't make you dumb. Then feel dumb for misunderstanding the actual point another blogger was trying to make which was: You don't get around in politics as much in heels as you do wedges. Which is still a dumb statement.

Then just delete your entire day's entry because you just disproved your main point which was: I can too brainstorm in high heels!

Today's new point: I can brainstorm in heels, and I can certainly barnstorm in heels, but I can't read regardless of my attire.

I still want these shoes, though. If you take nothing else from this entry (which how could you; it's a veritable mess), take this. These are awesome shoes.

I'm a Published Columnist!

While morosely trudging along into my office hurt my heart...because I'm more or less useless to students for a month now but still have to take them back into my office to relay to them this information, which is typically followed by a vacant stare or frustrated cursing...it was immediately lifted when I remembered what today is. What joyous occasion could overcome the affliction of being an ineffective (read: abused) advisor? Becoming a published columnist, that's what!

Maroon Weekly's second volume for the fall semester has gone live on the internet. Therefore, if you were to pay a visit to www.maroonweekly.com you would find two articles written by moi featuring crucial information about Northgate Vintage! Did you see how I used some French, there? Just another reason why you should probably consider my fashion opinions valid. I attained a majority of my knowledge of French from Eddie Izzard...so...yeah...just another reason to throw on the pile. (I'm confusing myself at this point so don't feel out of the loop.)

Check out the website today, and then pick up a hard copy off the racks tomorrow. You'll probably want to start collecting my stories now, as who can predict how valuable they'll be in several years? 50 cents now could easily escalate to $50...in my own personal alternate universe where even Anna Wintour cares about my opinion.