Monday, September 13, 2010

Please stay tuned for your regularly scheduled program (This one’s about music)

It is my opinion that Monday morning is the worst possible time ever to be conscious.

Over the weekend B and I procured Dolly Parton Unlimited, which is an anthology of some of the best country/folk music ever written. Current ingénues in the country music scene ought to feel ashamed when they consider the genre of music they are presently mutilating. Nickel Creek and Allison Krauss are a dwindling flame in the darkness of “pop country”. The glory days of Randy Travis, Willie Nelson, and Emmylou Harris slowly acquiesce to the likes of Carrie Underwood and Rascal Flatts. It hurts my heart.

Countless times have individuals excitedly asked me if I’ve ever heard the song by Rascal Flatts about the girl named Sara Beth. “It has your name in it!” My response is always a docile, “No, I’ve not heard that.” The response I forgo in an attempt to not be a jerk is, “NO! And I NEVER want to! It’s not even my name, anyways. My name is Sarabeth…not Sara Beth. No biggie, right? NO! It is a biggie. Sara Beth is two words. My name is one word. Never have I ever gone by Sara, and it annoys me more than anything when people ask me my name and I tell them ‘Sarabeth’ and then they say, ‘Hi, Sara.’ But I didn’t say ‘Sara’. I said ‘Sarabeth.’ If I wanted you to call me ‘Sara’, I wouldn’t have spent the energy to complete my response with ‘beth’! And Rascal Flatts is a stupid band!” See, that would be a jerky and alienating retort.

But I digress. So I thought I would attempt to energize myself with an upbeat Dolly song this morning. “9 to 5” seemed like the perfect antidote to my Monday morning lethargy. Dolly and I would commiserate together about “the man” and how he’s putting us down and all.

Then I realized that it was 7:40am. If I worked 9 to 5, wouldn’t I get to leave the house at 8:40am…or perhaps even 8:45am, as morning traffic would have abated by then? Any why would traffic be less hectic an hour later? Because we all work from 8 to 5, Dolly! What dream world are you living in?!?! Oh, right. The world where you have lots of money. Must be nice.

Needless to say, Dolly's tactlessness annoyed me.

Fashion Incorporation:

I would totally wear this necklace fashioned by Danielle Maveal. It is awesome. The End.


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