Tuesday, March 29, 2011

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Pregnancy has done nothing for my sarcastic, acerbic tendencies, and by that I mean that those tendencies have increased tenfold.

It would seem that my greatest test in managing my patience is calmly withstanding the unsolicited "advice" of many. I'm not a rational human being at this point, and I know it, and I'm okay with it. B knows it, and he's okay with it. And for the next 30 weeks or so, while I grow a human inside of me, I just need everyone else to be on board with this.

Example: Receiving countless tips on how to manage morning sickness...other than the pharmaceuticals to which I've resorted.

Rational Sarabeth says, "I so appreciate that others are concerned with my well being! Even these people I don't know all that well...it's just so considerate that they want to give me advice on how to manage my pregnancy. I assume they want me and my baby to experience a fantastic gestation period. Thank you, everyone!"

Pregnant, acerbic, sarcastic, i.e. current, Sarabeth says, "Really? You mean crackers and ginger ale can help abate the symptoms of morning sickness? So, all this time when I was lying in bed all day immobilized by severe nausea, I could have just popped a cracker and sipped some ginger ale? I didn't realize! Oh, wait. Yes. Yes I did...because it is the first thing that pops up on google when you search 'morning sickness relief'!!!!! "

Example: Being told again and again (by men, nonetheless????) how tough it is right now but how worth it it will all be in the end.

Rational Sarabeth says, "You are so right! And thanks for the encouraging reminder!"

Current Sarabeth says, "You know...it's not. Right now, it's not worth it. But I knew it wouldn't be. Just like I know that in the near future, it will be. Then there will be more times in the future, when it's hard to believe it was all worth it all over again because raising kids is really hard. Then those 'was it worth it times' will be followed by more 'yeah, it was worth it' moments of confirmation. But, I knew all of this and chose to do it any way and want to continue down this vomit ridden path. So stop acting like it's all peachy! It's currently not!"

In the end rational, albeit less enthusiastic, Sarabeth tends to win in regurgitating some sort of tepid response. I figure my authentically desired outbursts might lead to quite a bit of alienation as well as a potential job loss. Plus, I can only assume that God would appreciate a bit of self-control regardless of my hormonal state. However, I believe he totally knows what I'm talking about.

I also recognize that many people really do care, and for that I am genuinely grateful. Fear of inflicting pain upon the sincere has also been a catalyst for my meek responses.

Just stop pointing out the obvious!

I stumbled across the article Stuff and Nonsense? by Zoe Wiliams and was greatly comforted by the following excerpt:

Try to remember, when the advice turns out to be nonsense, that not everyone has evil motives: some people will give you bad advice because they are stupid or ill-informed. Others will give you bad advice because, without even realising it, they have a yen to bring the business of procreation under closer central control. They just don't trust you. But then, why should they? You are an absurd shape and you keep crying.


  1. Screaming laughter with tears!! Surfing through your archives is making my day and giving me a flimsy excuse to still be in my PJ's, neglecting my children, while 'looking up important stuff' on the internet.

  2. Hey, I figure if I'm meant to endure all of this procreation misery, people might as well be able to laugh about it. Something positive needs to come of this. Besides a baby :-)
    Thanks for reading!