Friday, March 4, 2011

Fashion Forum Friday: I heart Zofran but NOT pajama jeans

I don't officially know what is diminishing my requisite of late, which is the perpetual need to sleep on the bathroom floor. Are the Sea-bands truly effective?  It's doubtful, as I'm not currently wearing them and am also not currently located in a bathroom. Has my body grown more impervious to the Lentil's excruciating hormonal shift activity? One can always hope.

I suspect, though, that my increased lucidity and decreased head-explodyness can be associated with the miracle drug Zofran. The miraculous, ridiculously expensive, rarely covered by health insurance, relief providing Zofran.

Thanks, Blue Cross Blue Shield, for not giving two literal cents about my inability to function without Zofran. 'Preciate ya!

Regardless, my Fashion Forum Friday item of the week is: Pajamas! Can't wait to sleep all weekend!

And it's also NOT: Pajama jeans!


Ladies, jeans are not meant to feel like pajamas, and we have to choose to be okay with this. If your jeans are so wildly uncomfortable that you would rather be seen in pajamas masquerading as jeans, perhaps you should just invest in a new fit of REAL jeans! I understand that the commerical claims that pajama jeans will flattter every figure. I am here to tell you, THEY WILL NOT! ABSOLUTELY NOT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?

Here are the two most important things I would have you take from this blog. 1. Leggings should not sub as proper pants. 2. Pajama Jeans are the worst, laziest, most unflattering idea that I've seen since leggings subing as proper pants.

I know; it's a hard concept but let's review. Pajamas: Good. Jeans: Fantastic. Pajama Jeans = Your butt just grew two sizes.

It's similar to Jim Gaffigan's take on fruit cake. "Fruit: Good. Cake: Great. Fruit Cake: Nasty crap."

Seriously, just wear normal jeans and stop complaining. If I see you walking around in pajama jeans, you're going to counteract the effects of my beloved Zofran, and then I will vomit all over your pajama jeans.

Bon Weekend!

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