Several weeks ago I completed the obligatory task of joining my birth club on Babycenter.com so I could celebrate, commiserate, compare, and contrast with other anonymous pregnant women throughout the world. Why? I don't know. In a world dominated by the internet, it seemed natural. In fact, wouldn't my baby be born with three eyes if I didn't gather loads of panicked, cautious, overly negative information stemming from other women's experiences in some sort of online forum? Not only do I need to know what my OB is telling me, I need to know what at least 10 other OBs are telling other preggos in preferably 10 different states. I must know every single unhappy thing that could possibly happen!!!!!
You may have, at this point, sensed my sarcasm. Yeah, I'm kind of over the birth club thing. Allowing numerous overly tired, hormonal women the right to electronically assemble is not a good idea.
However, I was intrigued when Babycenter offered up pointers on dressing one's pregnant frame. Hopeful, I clicked on the link where I was greeted with cute, albeit predictable, outfits suitable for women who hope to gain approximately 10 lbs throughout their pregnancy and started at 110. Go figure. Apparently pregnancy is no excuse for excess weight.
Soon, though, my mildly irked demeanor wildly shifted to grossly nauseated. And not due to morning sickness, which by the by still rages on. No, the culprit...well...here it is:
This is a cruel joke, editors over at Babycenter. You hold sway over many women, who are susceptible to bad decision making during this particular time in their lives. Do you really want to be responsible for preggo cameltoes just running amok?
Ladies, don't listen to them! Whatever you do! No cameltoe is ever a good cameltoe. Skinny. Not skinny. Pregnant. Not pregnant. It doesn't matter! Buy yourself a tunic...at least!
I didn't want to have to say it, but you leave me no choice. We all know where the baby comes from. So cover it up!